Uncertainty

A great deal of my life recently has been fraught with uncertainty. Love, first and foremost, but my finances and aspirations are at stake as well.

I don’t know where I am in the world, or whether I have the ability to make my own way in it. Uncertainty has become a constant companion to me – the biggest mystery being myself.

Upon leaving Aggrego, I had originally planned to do three things – apply for a software apprenticeship at 8th Light, pursue my friend’s startup, and to pursue my education in dance with Chicago Dance Crash. I have done none of those things and I don’t think any of them are along the path that I’m taking. At least, not immediately.

Instead, I’ve been sitting on Don Bora’s question, “Why wait?” and realizing that I can’t wait any longer. I’ve been sitting on this idea for three years. Until I do something about it, I feel like it is a huge road block in the rest of my life. Like my self predicted expiration date at 29, I see nothing beyond it.

But the thought of fully extending my wings in pursuit of it is, by far, the most exciting option I can think of. The only question remaining: am I good enough? Can I become good enough, technically? Business-wise? Can I attract the right team?

Only one way to find out. Dive in headlong.

That said, I am completely in love and not knowing where this is going is killing me. This is really what I’m worried about. Everything else is just life. It can come or go.