What lies within us can be terrifying. In fact, what lies within us is the most terrifying of anything we can ever face.
Last week, I dreamt that I did terrible things. I did them without batting an eye.
When I woke up, I had to consider…was that person me? Or, because it was a dream, was I living someone else’s life entirely? I hoped to find some sort of excuse for my dream actions, some sort of indication that I wasn’t that kind of person. The most terrifying part was that, in the dream, I could hear myself think, calmly, just as I would in real life. Humming an idle tune. In the dream, there was no excuse. It was clearly me.
And yet, I rejected that image of myself.
What I came to realize was that who I am is completely up to me. I can become the person in my dream. But I can and I will become someone better. There is no “personality” that directs my choices. We are our choices. Our personalities are the directions we seem to be headed to others who watch us – toward Honesty, Love, Dependability.
But we can always choose to make a wrong turn. And sometimes we make a wrong turn without knowing, because we’re lost.
It’s alright. What lies within can be terrifying, confusing, and dark. But in the heart of the maze there is a map and a compass. When you find them, you can set your own path.