Off of my mind

Today, I woke up and told Leslie what I did. Let’s see:

[13:20] me: ok
[13:21] me: I stayed up late chilling with friends who were in various stages of drunk
[13:22] me: uh
[13:22] me: then
[13:22] me: came back and did laundry
[13:22] me: oh, I was in a ryu costume
[13:22] me: then
[13:22] me: I came home and forgot to finish the laundry
[13:22] me: which reminds me that I should go put the rest in the drier
[13:23] me: bbl
[13:23] leslie: okeeee
[13:26] me: so I’m back
[13:26] me: anyway, I filled out a few applications while I was at my friend’s place, met some people
[13:26] me: some medically oriented girl analyzed my feet and got really excited because my feet are weird
[13:26] leslie: …
[13:27] me: yeah
[13:27] me: but when I got back it was straight work work work, right?
[13:27] me: so I stared at my computer for a bit and then immediately passed out on the couch
[13:27] me: then I woke up and transferred to bed
[13:27] me: then I woke up again and I was like, “Shit, I have class! I have to finish that make up work!”
[13:28] me: so I burned through it and went to class
[13:28] me: class class class
[13:28] me: now I’m back
[13:28] leslie: you finished that 10 page paper??
[13:28] me: no
[13:28] me: haha
[13:28] me: different make up assignment
[13:28] me: yeah I’m a dumbass
[13:28] me: it’s easier if I just do it the first time…
[13:28] me: anyway, I’m about to go to get some free stuff from Google

So after that, I ran into Yao online. I convinced him to head over for free stuff from Google. So we ambled on over, only to discover that the Google representative, who happened to be Sweta Mohapatra, had already run out of shit. We went back to my apartment, where I cooked us some fried rice and ate the remaining half of my Subway sandwich. Ahh, this I had fetched before “class class class” and told myself I would save half of it for dinner. Which I failed to do.

Meanwhile, we talked about how I would live out of my car next year and what he was going to do with his life. It was pretty stimulating. We reached the conclusion that, for the things he wanted to do, the last four years of college were pretty useless. As for myself, I have to plan out this Extended Car Camping thing much better. A solid plan.

Yao left…and then I had an hour to waste before Contact Improv, which I’m pretty sure I wasted on, which is similar to Inbox2, but solely through a web interface. And it’s a better interface, too. I would definitely use threadsy over Inbox2. But I still don’t like it better than my Firefox/gmail manager/echofon combo.

So I didn’t get to sleep before Contact Improv. During class, we did several fun scores outside. Opposing one leader, then climbing the booger statues, and then directors at the booger statues, then story without emotion on the steps of Foellinger. Then Copy Leader and copycat on the quad. Then we made our way to the Awkward Fountain and did Doheum and Stephanie’s scores, in which I liquid popped (Doheum) and and pretended to be a squirrel (Stephanie).

This shit is gonna look crazy when I come back to it in a while.

Anyway, we split ways. I had a little bit to go before I had to drive everyone to open gym. I wanted to go visit my friends at Brother’s for 10c wings. So I went to my apartment and fell asleep, completely squandering my time. I woke up, rolled out and went to ISR to pick people up for open Gym. I tried explaining to Tommy that I didn’t want to drive, but it didn’t come out right. Lesson: When you want someone to do something, come right out and say it.

We went to open gym, where everyone had fun. Except for me. I wrote an email and thought about doing work.

Jen Chen is still angry at me and is still being a bitch to me for reasons I don’t know. I don’t know if I care enough to ask her about it or to try to fix it. If she’s gonna be a bitch and not tell me anything, she can go to hell.

Went to session afterwards. I wish my toe had not been dislocated.

Originally intended to send this to Jen Chen:

If you’re gonna be a bitch and not tell me what I did that pissed you off, you can go to hell. Yeah, I don’t give a shit if this pisses you off even more, you’re being a bitch for what seems like no good reason, which pisses me off.

See how effective that is at problem solving?

I can’t believe you would ignore me and treat me like shit for something that I can’t even remember. Fuck you. I don’t need “friends” like that.

Why am I so alone?

I try to be a good person. Benevolence is literally my middle name. But when I’m betrayed by people I thought were friends, when I’m excluded by people, I can’t understand it, I can’t take it, because it doesn’t make sense. And when Jen just fucking gave up on me for no reason, it just triggered everything.

God damn it. Why do I feel so alone? I’m not, but I feel that way.

Anyway, got back from session and missed out on the midnight breakfast, because security is too tight. Made myself some soup instead. Missed out on hanging with Don, too. Maybe tomorrow.

Sat here. Wrote this. Almost ruined a friendship.